Haiku of summer movies

Entertainment Weekly made a list of 20 summer movies they can't wait to see. Most of them look like they are going to suck. I wrote haiku about all of them.


1. Iron Man 2
First one was awesome
Mickey Rourke is crucial
Scarlett is gorgeous

2. Babies
Documentary
Heavy handed direction
May catch on Netflix

3. Sex and the City 2
Since I'm a duder
And loathe all of these ho-bags
No way I'll see this

4. Prince of Persia
Video game flick
Do you need to know much more?
Play xbox at home

5. Get Him to the Greek
I hate Russell Brand
He sleeps with Katy Perry
He is not worthy

6. The A-Team
Loved them as a kid
And the trailer looks bad ass
Can't wait for this one

7. The Karate Kid
Will Smith is weaksauce
His kid can't be much better
Why Jackie Chan, why

8. Knight and Day
Scientologist
Paired with a vapid jerkwad
I'd rather puke blood

9. Grown Ups
Lots of funny dudes
Being family friendly
And thus unfunny

10. The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Crazy Mormon chick
Writes atrocious teen drama
Throws in vamps for sales

11. The Last Airbender
Manga mysticism
Looks so stupid live action
Sixth Sense this is not

12. Inception
Nolan had some gems
Yet this looks derivative
Just watch Blade Runner

13. Salt
Why is this crazy
Puffy lipped hooker getting
All these movie roles

14. Dinner for Schmucks
May bring the funny
But it will probably suck
Why even bother

15. The Adjustment Bureau
Is this another
Bourne movie with Zod and Jin
From Lost, count me in

16. The Other Guys
Ferrell and McKay
Have made hilarious flicks
This one should follow

17. Eat Pray Love
A book I haven't
Read becomes a movie I
Won't see, symmetry

18. Scott Pilgrim v. The World
This team brought us Shaun
Of the Dead, and the hot chick
From Grindhouse is there

19. The Expendables
If not the best film
Of all time, certainly the
Best of the summer

20. Going the Distance
Haiku is stupid
And so is this movie, I
Give up, wait that's it